These limericks were compliled from postings on the PetBunnny Discussion List, they are reproduced here by permission. The authors retain all copyrights. Email addresses have been removed to protect from spam harvesting. From: Carolyn Lick There once was a bunny, all grey, Who in his alfalfa did play, 'Till one day at noon, Came a big, mean vacuum, And took all his fun hay away. Carolyn &Bernie -------------------------------------------- From: Denise Deckert My slaves tell me "Eat all your hay, And keep your poops out of our way." But I am the master And can run much faster; What reason have I to obey? Pascual Cruz -------------------------------------------- From: tom speer There once was a bun named Cadbury who lost his manhood last wednesday he continues to jump and continues to hump but each day seems less of a spray day. -------------------------------------------- From: Jay Dyson There once was a bunny named Buck Who was as subtle as, say, a Mack Truck One day he met Bailey And now it's said daily Is all they do is... groom each other -------------------------------------------- From: RJ Schleich I have a really simple life Most Slaves would concede But, Slaves are the ones who Fill my every need. Food and drink appear each day. If treats I want to try, Rattling dishes works the trick. They seldom question why. When Cupid's arrow hits my heart They really seem to care. Within a flash, blink of an eye A cuddly bunny's there. I really hate to let them know That what they do is fine. I'd rather keep them in the dark Make them tow the line. But sometimes when I'm feeling weak, I let my feelings show. I give them some attention then, I nip to make them go. =============== Bob The Bunny Man ============================================================================== From: Mary E. Cotter There once was a bunny named Doug, Whose nose was excessively pug. Said the breeder: "Bad buck!" Said Mary: "Great luck!!" So she now has a Doug on her rug. --MEC -------------------------------------------- From: Rebecca Playford There once was a bunny named Rudie Her friend Schmoo thought she was a cutie She would run round the house like a great big black mouse and poor Schmoo just basked in her beauty. -------------------------------------------- From: Michelle Murphy There once was a bunny so tough, all the girl bunnies thought he was "buff". He would pee, poop and chew, all the night through. That bunny could not get enough!! -------------------------------------------- From: Bill Tricomi - CDR There was was a rabbit named Lester whose mommy he'd constantly pester. His daddy was good just for giving him food; beyond that he could hardly care less fer. Bill and Lester (I really do like what's-his-name.) -------------------------------------------- From: "C.J.H. Bossink" A bunny who thought himself cool did only behave as a fool too greedy he was while pulling the grass and so he fell flat on his 'smool' ('smool' is dutch pronunciation for 'smoel', meaning 'face') Carin Peddling from rim to rim Bopper took his weekly swim But oh the little creep just had to peep when his mother wanted to join him Please be gentle, he means well, though he hasn't got a rabbit. He's still seacrhing for a Flemish Lop.... -------------------------------------------- From: Beth M. Mammini There is a fuzzy bunny named Bandit Who is charming and sweet when he plans it He chases Daphne all day And trys to get his way But she just chews things and tells him to can it. Beth -------------------------------------------- From: Evelyn Goldfield There once was a happy bunny crew Named Whisper and Mindy and Blue They all like to run chasing the new baby bun My hubby says "Our house is a zoo" Evi -------------------------------------------- From: Libby Moore There once was a bunny named Eeyore, From his slaves treats he did score, Bananas were best, He left all the rest, Then he'd be grunting for more! There is a young bun named Max, For freedom he does make tracks, He slams on his door, Knocks it down to the floor, And then our house he attacks! Libby Dusty (Alright, where's MINE??????) Max: (CRASH) -------------------------------------------- From: Marc J. DeMaio Whisky's the bun who chews up our rug To make him stop, give him a hug Bundaar works at shredding the couch A diligent bun, he's no slouch We love em both with all our hearts Even their stinky little bunny farts! Marc J. DeMaio, Whisky and Bundaar -------------------------------------------- From: Carla Kallan My Simon, I'm happy to say, Has the best bunny bod in L.A. From the tip of his nose to his cute fuzzy toes He just can't keep this woman away. You've all heard of mischievious Simon Who onto my desk comes a' climbin', My work falls to the floor, He creates an uproar, But his face reads, "I'm here to say hi, Mom." Carla -------------------------------------------- From: Jennifer Irons - ECHE/W95 Hello my name is Charlee Right now I'm full of parsley My mother bought me barley and then I'll have diarrhea (thought I could sneak that in!) Alison + Charlee (sneak what in where??) -------------------------------------------- From: Mary E. Cotter A mischievous bunny named Doug Had a taste for his slave's Persian rug One day on a binge He devoured the fringe Then sat on his bum, looking smug. There once was a bunny named Cotton Whose mom feared her limerick was rotten She wanted her rhyme To be truly sublime So Cotton would not feel forgotten. Love, MEC -------------------------------------------- From: Lisa Wilson My little dwarf bunny Pierre thinks himself quite debonaire. Cuz his eyes - (he has two) One's brown and one's blue - It makes him quite the hare extraordinair! -------------------------------------------- From: Barbara Osbon There once was a bunny named Cotton, Too much petting she couldn't have gotten, Until she was fixed, Yeah, that did the trick! Our snuggles have since been forgotten :( Barb and Cotton -------------------------------------------- From: Mara Hurwitt There was a young bunny set free In the woods of ol' Virginie With that gorgeous grey fur Two slaves 'dopted her And called the bun Rabbit E. Lee mara -------------------------------------------- From: Mary E. Cotter There's many a bunny disease We can handle with relative ease But when bunnies who own us Contract psuedumonas You wouldn't BELIEVE the vet fees! Doug was an unhappy bunny His nose was all snotty and runny Til a vet for exotics Said "Antibiotics!" Now Doug's disposition is sunny. --MEC -------------------------------------------- From: Dr. Cristina Forbes I'm a cute little bun named Charcoal, Left starving in a crate, in the cold. When my foster parents found me, I felt so luck-eee! Now I binky 'til dawn - it's my goal! I'm a light grey furball called Ash, On cilantro and 'tops my teeth gnash, When my brother eats hay, I steal it away, And shriek, "Keep away from my stash!" -------------------------------------------- From: Kristi Cole There once was a bunny named Bean, Whose name inferred he was green, In fact he's mostly white, And especially a delight, To be appreciated, Bean must be seen. Cinnamon has airplane ears, This bunny possesses no fears, He takes bunny naps, Then runs bunny laps, And even takes nips at our rears! We got a new bunny to foster, So now there are three on my roster, Pet Cinny, Cuddle Bean, Feed Pebble, the queen, Poor Kristi, it's enough to exhaust her! k2rabbit@imperium.net -------------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" "I" before "e" was the rule We PB'ers learned back in school Now it's "i" before "e" Except for a *she* Cause Charlie's now Charlee--how cool! --MEC -------------------------------------------- From: Robin Michel We have Oscar who's in love with Oreo He wants romance and treats by the stereo But the girl thinks he sucks She'll give him a butt-tuck By nipping a mouthful of fureo (ok,ok, but nothing rhymes with Oreo!) -------------------------------------------- From: Cindy Fisher A bunny bizarre is our Loopy. Her ears are perpetually droopy. She chews cords and rugs And chases big bugs And prefers carpet cecally poopy. Cindy -------------------------------------------- From: Linda Jovich There once was a bunny named Hop, and on his side he often would flop, during the day he would play and eat his hay, and at night in his cage he would plop. Linda ---------------------------------- From: Laura Tessmer There once was a bunny named Flower The carpet she loved to devour But only at night Without any light Does she express her destructo power ----------------------------------- From: "Dr. Cristina Forbes" "There once was a bunny named Snooze, who lay mesmerized by moo-moos. He snuggled real close, slave's chin to his nose, and snorted like a happy bull moose!" ----------------------------------- From: Mary Ferguson There was a young bunny named Buster Whose might thought he could muster Up over the gate He crept without wait To be with Jackson and Muppet--Go Buster! ------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" For Buster, confinement was rough So he thought: "I'll escape! I'm tough! "I really do hate This damn babygate-- "I'll show them it isn't enough!" He took off with one mighty hop, But he sorta got stuck on the top He flopped to and fro, Til--finally--heave ho! He fell down to freedom--kerplop!!! ------------------------------------ From: G Vath We took a vote and the queen is Mary. Her bun limericks are extraordinary! She makes it look so easy. But, they make us feel queasy. Congrats, from your pals that are hairy. Tasha Creamy Scotch Runt ------------------------------------ From: "Mary E. Cotter" What Winston knows how to do best Is get rid of an unwanted guest. While the guy eats his soup, Winston slips him a poop-- Just deserts for a guest who's a pest! ------------------------------------ From: "(Linda Jovich)" Hop says: Mary sure knows how to rhyme she comes up with great ones all the time she captures the antics that make our slaves frantic and I think that her rhymes are sublime. HOP ------------------------------------------------- From: Jennifer Royce There once was someone who's a dummy who dropped off an unwanted bunny without much propriety at the Humane Society (this was in Florida, so sunny). Along came a new college grad. Without any work, she was sad. She saw this poor bunny, gave the shelter some money, and took him to meet his new dad. "Bailey" she named this new rabbit. He developed some wonderful habits of loving nose-rubs and not chewing the rugs; the most well-behaved bun on the planet! Finally they moved to New York to work for a guy who's a dork. She put her things in the car and drove so very far Bailey thought he'd pop his cork! Now, despite the cold, snowy weather, things are looking much better for the unwanted bun- he's having some fun and living the high-life unfettered! ----------------------------------------------- From: Laura Tessmer A little grey bunny with white on his nose Rufus, a love bun right down to his toes He loved his pets And Flower the best Rufus now lives where the Black Rabbit goes ---------------------------------------------- From: Evelyn Goldfield There once was a lass named Mary Who had a talent so scary She went to LA But they said " Go Away!!!" Who wants Mary to be ordinary? LA = limericks anonymous, which MEC has threated to go too! ------------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Some canines, it seems, make haste To consume all their lagomorph's waste They scarf up each pill, Til they get their fill, Claiming it's all in good taste. > Winston loves to follow people into the bathroom. Every time I go into the > bathroom, he would run in, circle around my feet, and grunt a lot. Joe and > I decided that it would be cool to put a litterbox by the toilet, so he > could have his "bunny toilet" next to the "big bunny's toilet". > Well, one day, he was in there with Joe, and he got a really fascinated look > on his face while Joe was peeing. He promptly hopped into his litter box > and peed, too, following the alpha bun's lead. :) For Winston, it's thrilling to peek As his male human takes a leak Sometimes, with great pride, Sometimes, with great pride, He pees side-by-side-- It's his favorite male-bonding technique. --MEC ------------------------------------------------------ From: Joelle Thurston There once was a dwarf named Vermeer, A cute little black and white dear, Full of mischief and fun, Such a sweet little bun, His human is so glad he's here! Ophelia is a big bunny, Happy and playful and funny, Her head full of bees, Binkies high as you please, Then lies by the side of her honey. Nottagin is shy and sweet, Under the bed's her retreat, But if she smells papaya, Oh me-oh-mya You'll find her right under your feet! Hannah, with his ears lopping, Keeps me on my toes with his hopping, My carpet's in pieces, My clothes all wear feces, But I wouldn't give up one dropping! Joelle uy323@freenet.victoria.bc.ca Vermeer (There once was a sleepy-head) Ophelia (Who stayed up when she should be in bed) Nottagin (She wrote silly poems) Hannah (Produced a few groans) Vermeer (She should have petted bunnies instead!) --------------------------------------------------- From: Mary Ferguson A sweet little bunny is she Camille--whose slave is Evi One night she got out-- Camille prowled all about Her escape should be shown on TV! ----------------------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Silver's a bunny quite bold hose mischief is planned and controlled It makes Michelle tense, But soon she relents, And calls Silver "good as gold!" Silver's talent was quite a surprise Michelle couldn't believe her eyes-- Because there on her wall Was his spray--five feet tall! Quite a coup for a bunny his size! m I getting to be a pest? I confess, I am truly obsessed When I see bunny stories Of triumphs and glories I just have to write my best! In life, they say, "Aim high!" So *this* bunny aimed for the sky! He sprayed up the wall, He sprayed up the wall, As if five feet tall-- And then thought: "How virile am I!" It's well known that bunnies love oats, And papaya gets lots of votes, And though bunnies, you see, Don't care much for TV, They sure have a taste for remotes! There was a TV-loving bunny Who *knew* that remotes cost good money-- Yet he ate like a glutton Each small rubber button-- It wasn't remotely funny! --MEC --------------------------------------- From: "Lick, Carolyn" Flash is a bunny so strong, She waits 'till her mother is gone, Then garbage and litter Are no match for this winner And she thumps so you know something's wrong. Bernie's a bunny who's four Who's life seems to be quite a bore All he does all day Is eat, sleep and play And lie like a frog on the floor. He wishes that he had a friend To chase and to torment no end But he's still a "man" And a full bunny clan Is not what the bun-slaves intend. So bunny-love Bernie won't get And we hope it won't cause him to fret For we love him so And hope that we show We think he's a wonderful pet! ----------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" It's impolite to snoop, And it's rude to flame folks in your group, But in PB society It's no impropriety To share the scoop on poop! --MEC ----------------------------------------- From: "Lick, Carolyn" Dusty was thumping at Max So Libby went searching the facts Since she's sick with the flu She just asked "What's with you? Go back to your cage and relax!" Carolyn &Bernie ---------------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Dusty was being a pain By thumping and acting insane; Lib held him while praying He wouldn't start spraying But her shirt proved her prayers were in vain. Poor Sniffer keeps circling Deanne So she flips him to see what she can And there, right between His 2 feet can be seen The 2 inches that makes him a man. --MEC ------------------------------------- From: Michelle Beres Such enemies are Fergi and Stew, Fur flies in a monster to-do.. Stitches and scabs, They're a couple'a crabs, And constantly marking with poo. ------------------------------------------ From: Denise Wood "Sam, Sam the Little Sneak Bun, Ripping out Carpet, When Out Comes the Squirt Gun. Run, Run, Faster than a Bullet. Sneak Somewhere Else Where I can Pullet!" ------------------------------------- From: Evelyn Goldfield Poor Mary is very sad Cause Snoozey prefers his Dad for fun and for play while Mom works hard all day It's driving poor Mary mad. So Snoozey we say to you You know what you ought to do Give your Mama a snuggle A kiss and a cuddle And remember to play with her too! ---------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Sniffer, Deanne has long known, Always loved her, and loved her alone, But imagine her wonder When she looked down under And saw how his love had grown! --------------------------------------- From: Bill Tricomi - CDR There once was a bunny named Joy brought home to be Lester's love toy, but in daddy's matchmaking he wasn't partaking; as Lester would simply resist her. -------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" There once was a bunny named Joy brought home to be Lester's love toy, but in daddy's matchmaking he wasn't partaking; Perhaps Lester isn't a boy? Some kinds of ear wax just ooze, But not the ear wax from Snooze; If you're sitting nearby When his "candlesticks" fly, You just might receive a small bruise! --MEC ---------------------------------------- From: Carla Kallan I needed to take a trip, So went to the Las Vegas strip. A man and his bunny Were asking for money But gambling I didn't make zip. ---------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Mimi, it seems, was quite fond of a "bunny" who couldn't respond-- She poured out such passion On Paul's footwear fashion But the damn slipper just wouldn't bond! --MEC ------------------------------------------- From: Donna Burdick Dougie & Babe, two buns with a sneeze. Pseudomonous, the name of the disease. Mary & Donna conspired To get those sneezes retired, Alas, The Big P, a fate worse than fleas! Donna and Babe --------------------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" Michelle found her living room lined With remnants of how Oscar dined; Cappuccino beat hay For this bunny gourmet-- He was sick of the same old grind! His quarters were fine on the whole, But Buttons had one more small goal: Said he, "What I think Is, I'll drink from the sink, And make *this* dish my own toilet bowl! --MEc ----------------------------------- From: "Carolyn Lick" Laura's been spending her nights Keeping the buns in her sights. It must fill her heart To watch from the start The growth of these seven delights. ----------------------------------- From: "Mary E. Cotter" At first, some folks thought she was pissed-- Why *else* would she drop off the list?! But, "No," she said, "My modem was dead!" Now she's back--and boy! was she missed! Her odd sense of humor, you see, Is a source of much mirth and great glee; When the list is replete With posts on Seuss feet, You *know* Dana's back on PeeBee! --MEC -------------------------------------------- Toni & Raven Our Benny is not a tough bun In response to his name he will run But give him some treats (not too many sweets) And Benny becomes full of fun! Snooze is like Benny Bun too He likes treats as much and will do... Binkies for banana, And Papaya is like mana He woos you with moo moo moo! Otto is a big boy buck On my fingers he will not suck If you give him a kiss You will not miss A chance to change you luck (Meaning if you spoil him rotten he'll lick and suck on your fingers) Luna is like Benny Bun too She likes to moo & eat treats too, But don't pet her too much don't kiss her, and fuss over her much Or your had she will bite on to. Binky is a hopper, She loves the sound of our pop corn popper She is shedding her hair, she just may be bare Her hair may be used as a stopper